#why don't we smut

[sanjoongie]

Bet!

❦ Pairing: Vampire Hunter! Reader (f) x Vampire! Jake (Enhypen)

❦ Genre: modern vampire au, co-workers to lovers? (think buffy and spike)

❦ Warnings: oral (f receiving), bite kink, exhibitionism, public sex, mentions of blood, hypnosis, death

❦Word Count: 1,195

❦Rating: 18+ MDNI, smut

❦Summary: Jake makes a bet with you. If he can manage to make you cum then he gets to bite you too

❦Dedication: @mejuii & @downtoamagicalland because they’ll always read what i write, no matter the cost :3 AND @beomgyusbabygirl for listening to me talk about it 😭

You were desperate to keep your hips from twitching upwards but it was almost becoming an impossible mission at this point.

“What’s wrong, Miss Vampire Hunter?” Jake drawled from between your legs, “I thought you said I couldn't possibly make you cum?”

How did you end up in this particular position, you may wonder? Jake was a vampire who was also your informant. If you needed to pursue a rogue vampire or investigate some questionable hypnosis situations, Jake was your go-to guy. Charming with his good boy looks but with a mouth dirtier than a whores, it was an easy choice to keep him an arm's length away. Especially considering the both of you were on two different sides of an on-going, underground war. But then Jake decided to take your distant attitude as a challenge.

“Have you ever been bitten?” Jake asked seemingly nonchalantly as he wrote down an address for you. Seems there had been sightings of a vampire who was luring a girl by pretending to be her dead boyfriend. 

You sent him a look of disbelief that he couldn't possibly see, with his neck bent over the paper he was diligently writing on. “No? Why would you ask?”

Jake shrugged and handed you the paper. “It could have happened while you were staking one of us. I was just curious.”

You rolled your eyes. “Puh-lease,” You drew out the word into two syllables, “Like I’d be dumb enough to let myself get bit.”

Jake cocked his head curiously, tongue playing over his lip piercing. “You’re not even a little bit curious? Don’t you think you should know? To sympathize with the people you save or just to be aware of your profession?”

You shook your head. You moved to take the paper from him. “I don’t think half those vampires know how to bite without tearing your neck apart. Just like most men can’t perform oral.”

Jake frowned deeply. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He hasn’t let go of the paper yet.

“It means,” You frowned back at him, tugging at the paper, “Why would I let some bloodthirsty creature bite me when I can’t even trust a man to--JAKE, GIVE ME THE DAMN PAPER!” You shouted in frustration.

A teasing smile pulled at his charming features. “How 'bout we make a bet then? If I can make you come, I will bite you.”

“I don’t fucking think so,” You said without even contemplating it.

Jake’s smile widened. “What’s wrong? Think you’ll lose that bet?”

“No! Are you even listening to me? If I don’t trust you to bite me, I certainly don’t trust you between my legs!”

Jake nodded resolutely. “I can do it.”

“Sir, you are getting on my nerves,” You growled, shaking a finger at him in warning. 

Then, the bugger had the audacity to capture the tip of your finger between his teeth, his canines showing now. And your pupils blew wide in reaction. Shit.

“Fine! And if you can’t, you will never make another pass at me,” You vowed.

“Scouts Honor,” Jake held two fingers up but they were crossed, not put together. 

Jake escorted you into a nearby alley, where you could still hear the murmur of the crowd and the traffic but far enough that no one would know what was going on unless they walked down the alley itself. Your head hit the brick wall behind you, trying to quell the cord of lust that was winding tighter and tighter in your stomach. 

Jake’s eyes swirled below you and you knew he was triggering a power of his: telepathy.

Go ahead, moan my name, no one can hear you

“I don’t feel the need,” You said through gritted teeth.

Jake’s tongue swirled around your clit lazily, leg still over one of his shoulders. He started to work his middle finger into your hole and you slammed your fist against the brick, hoping for some pain to clear your head. 

Come on, admit it, Jake’s words swirled inside of your head. His tongue was working up your clit and he was already pushing another finger inside of you. You’re enjoying yourself

You tried to think of every poor girl that had ever fallen victim to a hypnosis from a vampire and lured back to his kiss to get sucked dry. You tried to think of the two puncture wounds that had long dried up on a corpse. Anything to keep your impending orgasm from exploding over you but it was starting to become a lost cause.

Make a mess of my face so I can bite you

That was the last shred of sanity you had left. You cried out desperately, loudly and with enthusiasm as pleasure raced through all of your nerves. Damn, Jake knew how to give head. And just as your orgasm washed through you, Jake moved his mouth to your plush thigh and bit down delicately. Tiny streams of blood pushed from the small holes he created and he licked those lines like you were a melting popsicle. 

"Oh my god," You exclaimed, breathing heavily.

"Jake, actually. Thought you'd have learned that by now," Jake quipped. He daintily licked the holes to seal them and sat back on his heels, letting your leg down.

You pulled down your short skirt quickly. You always dressed like a slut on the hunt for a vampire fang bang, just in case anyone was suspicious of a lonely human wandering into the vampire section of town. You were starting to think that figuratively was biting you in the ass.

"Are you satisfied?" You grumbled, "Our working relationship is ruined now, you damn vampire."

Jake slammed an open hand against the brick, cracking the stone and allowing a poof of dust to fall around you. "That's Mister Vampire to you, Miss Vampire Hunter."

You rolled your eyes. "Is my blood that invigorating, Jakey?" You cooed, not intimidated in the slightest.

Jake was back to his charming self. "To answer your question, no, I'm not satisfied. I'm high on your blood and I have a raging hard on."

Your eyes moved down to his slacks and the clear dick imprint against them. Your eyes moved back up to meet with his brown ones, swirling with red. "I did not sign up for that."

Jake started to play with his lip ring again. "So you're fine with me finding relief with someone else then?"

You narrowed your eyes at the vampire who was suddenly even more cocky, or was it borderline confident? "Jake, I told you, I never want to hear about what you do as a vampire. I just need your information. I don't want to muck about in that gray area and have to hunt you down."

Jake looked smug now. "Well, apparently you need my tongue and fangs now as well."

You visibly winced at his remark. Fuck. 

Want to bet that I can't make you come again?

"Get out of my head, Jake," You growled. Your fingers inched towards the stake you kept firmly between your breasts.

"Only if I can get between your thighs again~"

You sighed. "Who needs who again?"

[necrotic-nephilim]

How do you think bruce would react to a Robin pile situation?

oooh this is a fun thought. i think it depends *entirely* if you're working with a morally stable Bruce or a Bruce who's a little fucked up and dead dove-ish. somehow, i think it's actually more fun if it's a completely stable Bruce bc that adds so much more drama and issues if Bruce is deeply unsettled by the idea. if it was maybe just Jason and Dick or Jason and Tim dating that's sort of understandable. Bruce knows that while he may see them all as his sons (except Steph bc do know Robin pile will *always* include Steph for me and tbh Cass too as an honorary member. they're all going in the pile.) but he understands that doesn't mean they see each other as brothers. he respects the nuanced and complicated relationships scattered across all of the Batfam.

but if all of them are *dating*? or at the very least sleeping together? that raises a lot of logistical red flags. the most obvious one is the age gap of it all- at the biggest gap you have Damian and Dick who are an easy fifteen years apart, meeting when Damian is a kid. not to mention how many of them have tried to kill each other at some point. it shouldn't work and Bruce doesn't like that it does. Bruce has a history of wanting to control the relationships of the Batkids when he disapproves. and so he'd absolutely try to break them up. at first, he paints it purely as a logistical issue. saying it's smartest not to bring feelings into work and that this is dangerous. i think it's especially fun if this happens at a time when Bruce doesn't approve of Steph or Jason so that *also* plays into it, he doesn't want either of them near the ones he currently considers to be his family. he says he wants to protect them and wants to keep them safe. he tries to appeal to who he thinks would be more logical and listen to him the most. first Dick, and then when that doesn't work, Tim. and when neither of them listen, i *do* think Bruce would stoop to the low of trying to break them up by fabricating internal conflict between them, hoping to divide and conquer the weird polycule it's become.

while i don't think Bruce would be jealous in the sense he wants to be included, i *do* think he's wildly dislike the Robins having this close bond that makes them trust each other implicitly more than they trust Bruce. they will defer to each other before him and clearly keep things from him. he'd despise that. it's an inner circle he's not let in on and it makes him lose aspects of control over some of them, especially Damian who's the youngest and his son, who Bruce deserves the most control over. he would drive himself mad about it. at first for genuine reasons over the perceived fucked up nature of the relationship (even when each of them have confirmed that it is entirely consensual and they're happy) and to protect them. but he becomes so bitter over being ignored. they openly prioritize each other over him when the truth comes out because they see no point in hiding it. and i could definitely see Jason gloating about how he's back in the family whether Bruce likes it or not. Bruce would be beyond pissed about it. he's just never recovering. trying to stop them gets nowhere, even if he manages to cause some internal conflict.

eventually, Bruce would be forced to accept it for fear he would lose all of them. but he's *not* going to be happy about it and he keeps making side comments, hoping to get through to one of them eventually. it doesn't work, but he's definitely not going to stop trying. i also think on some level it would just disgust him a little bit in a visceral way, since they're his kids to him and he doesn't like to picture them in that way. esp when Jason or Steph lean heavily into PDA just to fuck with him. ass grabs, cuddling, sloppy kisses, the whole nine yards. Bruce will not have a moment of peace.

[dinsbeskar]

y'all.

we need a talk.

[maingh0st]

looking like that, you’ll open some wounds

Taryn’s traitorous heart is still quite fond of fairytales. She thinks, fleetingly, of a hero rescuing a maiden from a tower. Of a maiden rescuing a hero from a tyrant. Fairytale protagonists are always so pure of heart. She exhales a frustrated breath through her nose and shifts her feet. The Ghost shifts, too, and his cunning eyes glint up at her through the gloom. Her heart turns over. They are neither maiden nor hero, and what they had was no love story.

the promised taryn/ghost get-worse oneshot is up - read here 🖤

[antiadvil]

was going through my old journals from high school and i found a horrible, horrible joke that i will unfortunately be sharing:

what do me taking standardized tests and badly written gay smut have in common?

no prep

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[seokmattchuus]

When Matthew tells you he's been a bit stressed with debut preparations, you help him get his mind off of things. With some handcuffs and a torturous, never-ending hand job.

[redroomroaving]

Practicing actually colouring some sketches with a bit Rolan x Geraldus

(she's messy and she's riddled with errors but we are learning)

[alurite-l]

If you wanna see a loser bitch get mad as hell tell a fanfic writer to PROPERLY tag their fic as rape. Not just write "noncon" in the post but go into the notes and actually tag it as "tw rape" because they get mad asf when you call them out on it. How the fuck am I supposed to find good smut fics when each and everyone of yall are sexualizing and romanticizing rape and using the excuse that it's "dark content" no nigga you're fucking weird. You're a weirdo with a rape fetish and you're projecting it through a fictional character who has nothing to do with that and you refuse to tag it because you want notes and interactions with more people who say shit like "Omg X character nonconning his darling is sooo hot 🥺💗🎀🌸".

Don't get mad at me for calling you out on it because if you didn't write it in the first place, and if you actually tagged it I wouldn't have to see it at all.

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.

*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*

No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.

[maingh0st]

looking like that, you'll open some wounds

the promised taryn/ghost get-worse oneshot will go live this weekend 🖤 a tease:

Off balance, the two of them. She has come to rely upon the push and pull of their encounters. There's an equilibrium there—circling this thing hand-in-hand like revelers around a bonfire, tugging one another toward the heat of the flames and yet always inexorably on, around, away. But they've both fallen out of step. She once read the tale of a brave girl who had to dance through fire to thaw the ice-heart of her beloved. Every moment of the dance was agony, but when she emerged, she was unharmed. That's how love works in fairytales. This is not love, pure and generous, but she feels the lick of flames regardless.

[hikarry]

Whats your idea of a perfect date

Perfect date? In my eyes, it's all about the little things.

I don't have a license and I don't want to have one, but it would start with a good drive while I play passenger princess, enjoying the open road. I don't trust myself behind a wheel, but I love being driven around, I love velocity and long long trips. Sometimes I do enjoy the car drive more than the destination, but welp

Stopping by a pub or a dark, smoky bar with a jazz band playing in the background. Good drinks, good music...or a cafe and share a good cappuccino - each with their own. I dunnot share my caffeine

Followed by a moonlit stroll in a beautiful park by a river, ending with… watching the stars together

Sitting on a rooftop with a view of the city could also be fun, even though I'm afraid of heights

Maybe some more pleasurable activities afterwards, if we feel so inclined

But, alas, I don't exactly believe in perfect dates. Life is too messy and unpredictable for perfectly curated moments.

[ebbpettier]

the funniest part of editing my fanfiction is when my friends are reading it, and they leave notes like "for the record this is not at all a normal thing for a body to do" not in a shaming way (my friends are awesome and they would never) but because they know that my joints behave in ways that i often forget are not available on the standard-issue model of the human body.

ANYWAY HAPPY DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH

[jittyjames]

jcs kinktober masterlist

(sorry minors, but pls don’t interact with this. nothing personal, of course, but this just isn’t the space for you lovelies)

cw: heavy mentions of kinks under the cut obviously

i'm going to be so fucking fr with y'all rn. most of these are poly even if they're labeled as a single ship. that's just the universe i write for babes. i'm so embarrassed to even post this list. i would ask god to help me for when i post these in october, but anything good and holy has long left the chat. i'm scheduled to be struck down by lightning by november 1st. anyway here's wonderwall.

(also fair warning. i'm the most vanilla person in existence. if you look up the term vanilla is the dictionary, it's a photo of me. i say this to clarify THESE ARE (mostly) NOT MY KINKS. DO NOT JUDGE ME. I AM BUT A WRITER WHO REALLY LIKES DYNAMICS OKAY?? DON'T PERCEIVE ME. nyway, more warnings and stuff to come in the actual fic.) also watch my tumblr get shadowbanned for me posting this. maybe i should censor the words. IDK.

pegging- jesus x mary

roleplay- jesus x mary x judas

hate sex- mary x judas

rimming- jesus x judas

omo- LMAO JUST KIDDING. honestly don't know for this one. open to suggestions!!! EDIT- COLLARING WINS OUT

frottage- jesus x judas (kudos to gav for the inspo on this one)

virginity- jesus x judas

gore- jesus x judas (this sounds worse than it is lol. i swear it's not bad at all. gore is more of just a theme, not a sex thing. but... it is the bible... so...) this is also mixed with the bonus prompt bathing so!! y'all can work that one out

stripping- jesus x mary (modern)

praise kink- jesus x judas

sensory deprivation- jesus x reader's choice (ooo jami is trying new things for once 👀👀)

somnophilia- jesus x judas

size difference- god x judas x satan

orgasm denial- jesus x judas

temp play- mary x judas

gags- mary x judas

threesome- peter x judas x james

spanking- god x judas (modern)

voyeurism- jesus x mary x judas

mind control- judas x satan x jesus (lmao i’m sorry i had to)

lingerie- jesus x judas

BONUS PROMPTTT: dancing together- jesus x judas

rough oral sex- jesus x mary x judas

sex toys- mary x judas (modern)

edgeplay- jesus x judas

overstim

s&m- jesus x judas (was totally singing the rihanna song the whole time i wrote this one)

body worship- jesus x judas

breathplay- jesus x judas

free use- judas x everyone

this is a free day so... ONCE AGAIN OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS

EDIT: i have been harassed but i’m not using my free day on it… so…

32. BONUS DAY- the piss fic.

[crowquestionablythat]

Asking for your followers' thoughts/opinions and then receiving those thoughts/opinions respectfully; to turn around and consider that discussion as someone targeting you is an interesting response. You weren’t asking for an opinion, you were asking for validation. Which is fine. But if we are old enough to be writing smut on this site, we should also be old enough to recognize and voice our needs. Initiating what people thought was a good-faith conversation about an issue, to then turn around and act as though this was unsolicited or abusive just proves the point.

[noonaishere]

If you find a minor in fandom space and they’re writing smut and your reaction is to make a callout post and harass them into deleting their blog, you have bullied a minor. I don’t care about your reasoning, you’ve bullied a minor. And to that, I ask: What good do you think you’re doing?

Edit: I feel like it's been a bit since I made this so I thought I should add a little context:

I made this post after seeing a adult (one who had only been an adult for a year or so) bully a teenager off the platform for writing smut. From what I could see, the teen had never interacted with them before and the adult decided to call them out apropos of nothing and the entire situation was really hostile and toxic. The adult tried to excuse their harassment as "trying to protect" the teen, even though they had started the interaction by making a post with their user name and telling people to bother them. It was fucked up. Like the motivation and the follow through were almost polar opposites; you can say you're trying to protect someone, but if you do that by hurting them, you're not really protecting them. (And at that point, the person they need to be protected from: is YOU.)

Also, as far as I could find - legally - a minor can read and write smut fic, but an adult should never contact them over it (meaning: flirtatious or sexual messages, invitations to talk privately about sexual topics, invitations to meet, etc). That's when it moves into illegality. If you see a minor in the wild (fandom space) and don't talk to them about things like that, or straight up block them and ignore them if they're engaging with smut and it makes you uncomfortable, you'll be okay.

Harassing them (no matter how good you think your intentions are) is not okay.